Transcript: Episode 0039
This transcript:
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WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:02.000 Oh 00:30.000 --> 00:45.240 Welcome to the Stone Choir podcast. I am Corey J. Mahler, and I'm still woe. On today's Stone 00:45.240 --> 00:50.280 Choir, we're going to be discussing persuasion. And the last number of months we've tackled 00:50.280 --> 00:56.920 a bunch of different so-called controversial topics, subjects that the world takes a very 00:56.920 --> 01:02.520 different view than we take, and responds to the views that we have shared on Stone Choir, 01:02.520 --> 01:08.560 generally with hysteria. And we tackle those issues specifically because some of them are 01:08.560 --> 01:13.920 hard to hear, some are probably hard for some of you to hear. And the point is that we wanted 01:13.920 --> 01:20.240 to be able to present a calm reasoned case for these things in part to make the point 01:20.240 --> 01:25.400 about the subjects, but also with every episode that we've done, we're trying to demonstrate 01:25.400 --> 01:31.240 that you don't have to be a bomb-throwing madman to agree with us about Scripture being 01:31.240 --> 01:37.480 true, or about history being true, or about science being true. Truth is truth. And when 01:37.480 --> 01:42.440 faithful, honest men talk about the truth, they should be able to do that without getting 01:42.440 --> 01:48.640 worked up about it. So this week, we're talking about persuasion, specifically, because last 01:48.640 --> 01:54.480 week we talked about not wanting people to get sucked down into the tar pit of, oh, Cam 01:54.520 --> 02:00.080 Red Pill, now I want to know all the Red Pill subjects, and I want to engage in every so-called 02:00.080 --> 02:04.680 conspiracy theory. And I know that they lie to me about something, so they must have lied about 02:04.680 --> 02:11.000 everything. This is now my personality. When we tackle these subjects, we don't want people to 02:11.000 --> 02:17.320 feel like talking about race, or the Jews, or Hitler, is your personality, because it's not, 02:17.320 --> 02:22.080 you know, it's the Ryan Gosling meme where the guy watches Drive. And then for the next eight 02:22.080 --> 02:27.120 years, all of his relationships are defined by pretending to be somebody else. That it's 02:27.120 --> 02:33.240 fake. That's not, it's not mature. It's not healthy. And we certainly don't want to be a part of 02:33.240 --> 02:38.200 anyone else going down that path on any of these subjects, because we all have our lives. We're 02:38.200 --> 02:44.080 living in the community. We're doing whatever it is that God put us here to do. And when you 02:44.080 --> 02:49.080 learn about something new, that's great. Today, we're going to talk about persuasion, because on 02:49.080 --> 02:55.360 one hand, we don't want you to fall into a trap of getting obsessed with stuff, which is something 02:55.360 --> 02:59.240 that Corey and I are often accused, like, Oh, those guys are, those are the race guys, those are 02:59.240 --> 03:05.360 the haters. We're not. And when someone listens, they realize that. But if you only listen to the 03:05.360 --> 03:11.400 slander about us, instead of listening to us, you'll believe that, you know, it's only crazy 03:11.400 --> 03:17.400 people who think these things. When you're clear reasoned arguments, like, Okay, well, that makes 03:17.440 --> 03:24.520 sense, even if you disagree. And so today, we want to talk about how to be persuasive. As you're 03:24.520 --> 03:30.320 tackling some of these subjects, you know, Dale Carnegie with winning friends and influencing 03:30.320 --> 03:36.200 people and the Dilbert guy, Scott Adams, he's talked a lot about persuasion, we're not trying to 03:36.200 --> 03:44.280 jump into that sort of big brain TED talk world, where here's how you make people like you more. 03:44.880 --> 03:50.920 The specific point that we hope to get across in today's episode is that, if and when you choose 03:50.920 --> 03:55.920 to engage in some of the subjects that we discuss, there are certain things you can do if you're 03:55.920 --> 04:02.160 not thinking that will turn people off completely to what it is you're trying to convince them of. 04:02.720 --> 04:08.520 And there are certain things you can do that will be persuasive. It's, this is just basic adult 04:08.520 --> 04:13.360 human stuff. There's a good way and there's a bad way to do anything. And there's no particular 04:13.400 --> 04:19.320 script for how to do it well in every single situation. Every individual is different. You're 04:19.320 --> 04:23.400 different than we are. Your family is different than you are. You have more similarities with your 04:23.400 --> 04:27.840 family than probably with us. You have more similarities with us, you know, we have with 04:27.840 --> 04:33.400 someone on the other side of the world. So they're varying degrees of familiarity. And all those 04:33.400 --> 04:40.000 have to be incorporated into how we discuss things. One of the things that made us think about doing 04:40.000 --> 04:44.480 this episode is that when we did last week's, we were talking about conspiracy theories. Somebody 04:44.480 --> 04:48.320 on Twitter replied and said, you know, basically, he was a fan of the show, and he always looked 04:48.320 --> 04:52.960 forward to what we put out. But he said last week's show wasn't our best work. And I appreciated 04:52.960 --> 04:58.400 that comment because it was, it was critical. He wasn't being nasty, but it made me think. It made 04:58.400 --> 05:04.600 me think specifically, why do we select some of the topics that we select? Why would it be that 05:04.840 --> 05:08.320 someone would hear last week's episode and think, yeah, that wasn't really for me. That wasn't 05:08.320 --> 05:12.280 that great. Maybe he's right. Maybe it was a crap episode and it wasn't suitable for anyone. 05:13.400 --> 05:17.680 Almost immediately after we got a ton of feedback from other people saying, thank you so much for 05:17.680 --> 05:23.120 this episode. I loved it. It was really important. And I realized that one of the reasons for that 05:23.120 --> 05:27.720 disparity, it wasn't that like the guy who said that has bad taste or something, he had never 05:27.720 --> 05:32.920 dealt with probably, I didn't ask about, assume he never dealt with the problems that we were 05:32.920 --> 05:37.600 addressing in that episode. There are a lot of people, especially in the dissident right, who 05:37.600 --> 05:43.000 go completely nuts for so-called conspiracy theories. Like I said, it becomes their personality. 05:43.560 --> 05:47.960 And if you talk to one of those guys, you can't help but hearing about that stuff, even if you 05:47.960 --> 05:53.760 want to talk about something completely different. And so I realized that one of the things that 05:53.760 --> 06:00.040 Corey and I do when we tackle subjects is every episode is not for every listener. That's not to 06:00.040 --> 06:04.600 be dismissive. It's just that we're trying to tackle a specific issue in hopes that, you know, 06:04.600 --> 06:08.920 eventually in a perfect world, everyone would get on the same page. So if you hear something, 06:08.920 --> 06:14.440 you're like, that's not really for me. It's fine if you don't like the episode. But I realized 06:14.440 --> 06:18.280 when he said that, that especially in light of all the other people saying, yeah, those are really 06:18.280 --> 06:25.680 value of episode, I realized that there are people that just don't have certain problems. And so 06:25.680 --> 06:32.400 when if we do an episode, and you're like, that doesn't have anything to do with me, I'm not saying 06:32.440 --> 06:39.000 you should just like every episode. If someone says something, and it doesn't make sense to you, 06:39.000 --> 06:44.560 and we're telling you, this is a big problem in the world, like conspiracy theory obsession is a 06:44.560 --> 06:49.760 problem in the world, especially on the right. So when we say, Hey, here's a really important 06:49.760 --> 06:53.920 thing to deal with. And someone's like, that doesn't have anything to do with me. Hey, thank God, 06:53.920 --> 06:58.360 that you've been spared that. But be be aware that there are people who are actually being 06:58.400 --> 07:05.040 significantly burdened by confusion and disorientation and obsession in some cases, 07:05.040 --> 07:09.360 about a subject that thankfully you've been spared. And that's kind of the case with a lot of 07:09.360 --> 07:13.560 reps. As you know, some people, you know, there are some people in certain denominations, when we 07:13.560 --> 07:17.640 talked about slavery, like, yeah, that's fine. You know, maybe it's not exactly what I've heard 07:17.640 --> 07:23.520 in church, but that's consistent with a scriptural approach. And then there are other people who 07:23.520 --> 07:28.960 completely freak out because I've never heard anything except for the modern, strictly moral 07:28.960 --> 07:36.840 anti slavery views that have only existed in the last century and a half. So one of the things 07:36.840 --> 07:43.440 about being persuasive is really knowing your audience. In our case, as podcasters, we have a 07:43.440 --> 07:48.680 generic audience is entirely opt in. But we don't know you, we don't know you personally, we don't 07:48.680 --> 07:53.360 know what your interests are, your concerns are. So obviously, we can't address every episode to 07:53.600 --> 07:59.920 each person listening individually. So when you think that there's a miss on something, just think 07:59.920 --> 08:03.600 about maybe the fact that there are other people out there that are dealing with something that 08:03.600 --> 08:09.040 you've been spared, you know, be thankful for that, but also be aware of it. Because if we take the 08:09.040 --> 08:13.920 time to devote an entire week to something, it's because we see enough in the world, we haven't, 08:13.920 --> 08:18.720 you know, enough people commenting to us DMing us, we've seen enough struggle that we're saying, 08:18.720 --> 08:25.360 this is something affecting others. And when we talk about being persuasive, that's part of it, 08:25.360 --> 08:31.360 knowing that my problems are not necessarily your problems. You know, the worst thing that's ever 08:31.360 --> 08:36.240 happened to me is going to be different in degree than the worst thing that's ever happened to each 08:36.240 --> 08:41.200 person listening. You know, there's some people who maybe you have a horse girl where she has, 08:41.200 --> 08:44.960 she's rich, daddy's rich. And the worst thing that's ever happened to her in her life, she's 08:44.960 --> 08:50.720 never lost friends or family, but her dad had to sell her horse. And she was bereft. That was the 08:50.720 --> 08:56.000 worst thing that ever happened to her. I think we have a tendency to look at someone, you know, 08:56.000 --> 09:01.360 like that in the hypothetical, and be completely unsympathetic and say, Oh, you spoiled little 09:01.360 --> 09:09.040 brat. How dare you complain about this when my problems are XYZ worse than that. The sympathetic 09:09.040 --> 09:14.640 approach is to look at that and to empathize to realize that that was the worst day in that girl's 09:14.720 --> 09:20.240 life. If the horse that she dearly loved got sold, you know, for whatever reason, and that was 09:20.800 --> 09:24.320 cause of heartbreak, she's heartbroken. It's the worst thing that ever happened to her. 09:25.040 --> 09:31.040 I think that we can approach things as we're trying to be persuasive and just trying to discuss 09:31.040 --> 09:37.200 things with people to some degree by putting ourselves in their shoes. Because if something 09:37.200 --> 09:42.960 is really hurting someone else and it doesn't bother you at all, you have to keep that in mind 09:43.040 --> 09:47.760 when you're interacting with them and certainly don't dismiss whatever is concerning them. Because 09:47.760 --> 09:53.200 even if their concerns are dumb or wrong, it's still what's concerning them. And you can find 09:53.200 --> 09:57.760 common ground simply in the fact that you yourself have concerns or things that burden you, things 09:57.760 --> 10:02.720 that frighten you, things that confuse you. And so if the only commonality that you have with the 10:02.720 --> 10:08.480 person you're talking to is that you share having had a bad day, that's still a place to begin. 10:08.960 --> 10:13.760 And so I think as we begin talking about persuasion, finding common ground is one of the most 10:13.760 --> 10:20.480 crucial elements. So I think at the outset, it's important to distinguish between two distinct 10:20.480 --> 10:28.320 things that are both really in this area we're discussing in this episode. The first is persuasion, 10:28.320 --> 10:33.520 which is what we are discussing properly. How do you persuade someone of something? What is 10:33.520 --> 10:39.600 persuasion? And the second is manipulation. There's a distinction between these. We are not talking 10:39.600 --> 10:46.080 about manipulation. Some of the psychology or things like that would get into manipulation, 10:46.080 --> 10:50.000 where you're talking about propaganda in the negative sense, and we'll get into that later 10:50.000 --> 10:57.520 in the episode as well. But for our purposes here, persuasion is attempting to convince someone of 10:57.520 --> 11:05.520 something by engaging with that person. So you're engaging that person's reason or emotions. It's 11:05.520 --> 11:11.440 not always wrong to engage the emotions. God gave you emotions for a reason. You don't totally ignore 11:11.440 --> 11:16.080 them. Yes, when you're dealing with something that is a purely logical problem, you set your 11:16.080 --> 11:22.240 emotions aside. It's important to be able to do that, particularly for men. But it's not wrong 11:22.240 --> 11:27.680 to engage the emotions of another person per se. That can be used to manipulate, of course. 11:28.240 --> 11:35.440 But the distinction is that manipulation is an attempt to circumvent or subvert, to take advantage 11:35.440 --> 11:43.120 of the other person in some way. So you're trying to befuddle the person, confuse the person, 11:43.680 --> 11:50.080 engage with emotions that aren't really at issue here in order to manipulate the outcome. So it's 11:50.080 --> 11:56.640 the difference basically in intent. There's some difference in means as well, but largely it's the 11:56.640 --> 12:05.120 intent. Persuasion you want to bring the person to, one would think, your position through convincing 12:05.120 --> 12:11.120 the person, engaging with that person's reason, engaging with that person's emotions, engaging 12:11.120 --> 12:18.480 with that person's thoughts, etc. Whereas with manipulation, again, you are attempting to subvert 12:18.480 --> 12:28.400 or control. Now, manipulation technically is not an inherently negative term. Because manipulation 12:28.400 --> 12:32.320 also has the sense of just doing something skillfully, because it just comes from Latin 12:32.320 --> 12:37.440 manipulus, which is Latin for handful, has to do with the hands. And the hands are obviously 12:38.000 --> 12:45.680 dexterous, as it were. However, in modern English, manipulation has taken off that negative 12:45.680 --> 12:50.160 connotation. So here, we'll just contrast those two. Persuasion being what we are discussing, 12:50.720 --> 12:56.000 manipulation being sort of the shadow version of it, the dark version of it, not what we are 12:56.000 --> 13:01.600 advocating. And as well mentioned, we're not going to get into the psychology of, you know, 13:01.600 --> 13:07.760 if you want to convince someone, do these four things in this order. Yes, we could get into that, 13:07.760 --> 13:16.240 but that's not the point here. The point of the episode is, how do you engage with other people 13:16.240 --> 13:23.120 in a meaningful way on these topics? And how do you choose when to engage? Because that's part of 13:23.120 --> 13:30.800 it. As Will mentioned, you don't just always go 100% on every single one of these issues. 13:31.760 --> 13:38.640 Yes, you've listened to the episodes on race and World War II. That doesn't mean that the first 13:38.640 --> 13:45.440 thing you say when you sit down to have a beer with someone is, so, how about racial IQ? You don't 13:45.440 --> 13:50.320 open that way. I mean, maybe if it's with your friends and it's a joke, fine, but you have to 13:50.320 --> 13:57.200 know your audience. You have to know where you are as well. And how to engage with that audience 13:57.360 --> 14:05.440 in that place. And so, as was mentioned, we don't know our audience personally. Of course, 14:05.440 --> 14:10.800 we know some of you personally, but we generally don't know the overwhelming majority of our audience 14:10.800 --> 14:16.880 personally. So what we are doing here is necessarily more general than what you would be doing with 14:16.880 --> 14:23.280 someone in person or what we would do with someone in person. Woe was just on the myth of the 20th 14:23.280 --> 14:30.320 century. And there, he is engaging personally with someone. So that's different from how you would 14:30.320 --> 14:35.120 engage, say, on this podcast with the audience. With each other, we can engage personally. We 14:35.120 --> 14:40.960 know each other. But with the audience, it has to be more general. So the first thing you want to do 14:40.960 --> 14:47.600 when you're going to persuade someone is just to know the other person. Start with an actual 14:47.600 --> 14:52.640 conversation with the person. You don't have to open up with politics and religion and theology. 14:54.240 --> 15:01.120 You can open with a general discussion. You're building a relationship, building rapport to some 15:01.120 --> 15:07.360 degree, and that is going to count toward whether or not that person will give any weight to what 15:07.360 --> 15:17.360 you say later. If you just open up cold open with so about the world war two, probably not going 15:17.520 --> 15:24.480 to get you anywhere. That's part of why people like the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Mormons, 15:24.480 --> 15:28.800 when they do the cold call at your front door, they typically don't get anywhere with that. 15:30.160 --> 15:37.120 Now, maybe over time, they can wear certain people down. But if you have a relationship with 15:37.120 --> 15:43.600 someone, you have an established rapport, you're going to be more successful in persuading that 15:43.600 --> 15:49.120 person. So that first part is just getting to know your audience, knowing your audience. 15:50.640 --> 15:54.880 And that goes back to something that we've discussed in the past, the basic question, 15:54.880 --> 16:00.320 what problem are you trying to solve? And I think something that I hope that people in our 16:00.320 --> 16:05.120 audience will keep in mind is that if you learn something new, maybe it's from Stone Choir, 16:05.120 --> 16:09.920 maybe it's somewhere else, and it's a really big deal to you, like it revolutionizes some 16:09.920 --> 16:14.720 aspect of how you view the world, you're probably going to be excited about that. Like, 16:14.720 --> 16:19.760 this is cool, like this opens up new horizons. This explains things that I never understood 16:19.760 --> 16:23.760 before. I'm energized, I have this new knowledge, and you want to share it. 16:25.840 --> 16:30.400 The question of what problem are you trying to solve when you're looking to persuade people in 16:30.400 --> 16:37.280 your own life is that I think the mistake that many people make in interpersonal discussions is 16:38.000 --> 16:43.280 suddenly the problem you want to solve with your friends or God forbid your family is, 16:43.280 --> 16:48.160 oh, they're not red-pilled. I need to go lecture them about these things that I know about and 16:48.160 --> 16:55.040 that they're wrong about, and I need to fix them. That is exactly the wrong approach. If you approach 16:55.840 --> 17:02.640 wanting to discuss a subject in terms of I need to fix you, it's revolting. We did an episode, 17:02.640 --> 17:07.920 five-part episode on race, three-part episode on Jews, between those is probably close to 20 hours 17:07.920 --> 17:15.200 of content. As Corey mentioned, people knocking on doors for these cults, if I showed up on your 17:15.200 --> 17:20.320 door and said, hey, I'm here to talk to you about race for three hours, you're going to chase me off. 17:20.320 --> 17:25.600 Even if you happen to like me, you're not going to want to hear it. There's a blessed passivity to 17:26.240 --> 17:30.960 things like podcasts and articles that you can share with other people because it's completely 17:30.960 --> 17:37.120 one-sided. You can pick up an article or maybe a book or a podcast episode and you can listen or 17:37.120 --> 17:42.960 read, engage in your own time on your own terms. If you don't like it, you can just walk away. If 17:43.760 --> 17:48.880 we say something in one of our episodes that rubs you the wrong way, like, I got to put this down, 17:48.880 --> 17:53.680 it's annoying or whatever, you can't. You don't have to chase us off to do it because we don't 17:53.680 --> 18:00.160 know who you are. There's never any mutual engagement there, so we can make a case for 18:00.160 --> 18:05.360 something in this sort of passive teaching environment. There's different fundamentals 18:05.360 --> 18:10.080 than the way you can make a case to someone you know personally. The very thing that we can do 18:10.080 --> 18:15.280 quite successfully on a podcast where take it or leave it, you can listen or not, 18:15.920 --> 18:20.480 it would be virtually impossible to do this in person to strangers, even though virtually all 18:20.480 --> 18:26.400 of you are strangers to us. The fact that we're not coming to you and trying to convince you 18:26.960 --> 18:33.200 is part of what makes it easy for you to listen. I think one of the keys for us to understand as 18:33.200 --> 18:39.360 we're engaging interpersonally is that one of the things that we say all the time, I particularly 18:39.360 --> 18:42.880 say a lot here and I actually said on the midst of the 20th century this past week, 18:42.880 --> 18:48.320 I don't care if anyone agrees with me. Adam on the other show thankfully got me to clarify, 18:48.320 --> 18:52.880 didn't mean that I'm completely indifferent to people believing these things. What I was talking 18:52.880 --> 18:59.760 about and what I'd say on this podcast frequently is I am completely outcome independent to how you 18:59.760 --> 19:05.200 receive this information. Yes, Corey and I are spending probably about 30 hours a week on some 19:05.200 --> 19:11.040 of the easier episodes preparing and delivering this stuff to you. So there's clearly investment, 19:11.040 --> 19:15.280 we wouldn't be doing this if no one were listening and we thought no one cared. 19:16.240 --> 19:20.960 When I say I don't care, what I mean is that if you as an individual who's completely 19:20.960 --> 19:26.960 undone to me don't agree with the thing that we just told you, that's okay. We frequently say 19:26.960 --> 19:32.240 take it or leave it. There are a lot of episodes where we explicitly say don't take our word for it, 19:32.240 --> 19:37.200 don't listen to a couple of podcasters, tell you stuff. It's completely contrary to everything 19:37.200 --> 19:42.880 you've ever heard. That should rightly raise your hackles. I use that phrase frequently. We have a 19:42.880 --> 19:52.400 natural basic animal understanding of something being off and the instinctual response to off is 19:52.960 --> 19:57.520 to be protective and that's fine, that's good. The reason that Corey and I can say it's fine if 19:57.520 --> 20:02.080 you don't believe us, go look for yourself is that we know that we're telling you the truth. 20:02.080 --> 20:06.800 And so our confidence in the subjects that we discuss is based on the fact that we know 20:07.280 --> 20:13.200 we've done all the legwork long before we come to the microphone and deliver one of these episodes. 20:13.920 --> 20:19.520 So when I say I don't care and I say you can take it or leave it, it's not that I don't 20:19.520 --> 20:25.040 want you to believe or I'm indifferent. It's that if you say that's crap, I don't believe any of it. 20:25.840 --> 20:32.800 There's no skin off my nose. It doesn't hurt me if you don't agree. And while that's easy 20:32.880 --> 20:38.560 in an impersonal situation like a podcast, I think the vital thing that one of the key things I hope 20:38.560 --> 20:44.480 people will take away from this episode is that it's okay to have a sense of that same spirit 20:44.480 --> 20:51.120 in person with your friends, with your family. And one of the big turnoffs when you want to 20:51.120 --> 20:54.880 talk about a subject is when it's just the most important thing in the world for you to talk about 20:54.880 --> 21:01.920 it. If you're just brimming with excitement to tell somebody about something, maybe the best 21:01.920 --> 21:06.320 approach, it depends on your relationship, maybe a relationship where your friend is just used to 21:06.320 --> 21:12.800 you getting excited about stuff and they'll humor you. But sometimes for some people, depending 21:12.800 --> 21:17.520 on their personalities and their friends, if you're brimming with excitement to share something you 21:17.520 --> 21:22.880 just learned, maybe the best thing is to wait and to say nothing and to let it naturally come up in 21:22.880 --> 21:27.760 conversation. So you've been informed, you've learned about something, you really want to share 21:27.760 --> 21:34.000 details, but you don't want to be this guy who's just wild eyed about convincing other people. 21:34.800 --> 21:40.720 Sometimes the best way to be convincing is to completely relax and just forget about it. 21:40.720 --> 21:47.360 And then later on, maybe months down the road, some say rice or IQ comes up, you now have 21:47.360 --> 21:51.920 something you can contribute to the conversation that's going to be novel to your circle of friends 21:51.920 --> 21:56.640 because they're not listening, they haven't heard this stuff before. You can drop a few facts in 21:56.640 --> 22:01.520 conversation that are probably going to blow their minds and maybe they'll get really mad at you, 22:01.520 --> 22:06.240 like some people get mad at us, maybe they'll pique their curiosity. The nice thing about 22:06.240 --> 22:11.760 having resources like books and articles and podcasts to point people to is that you don't 22:11.760 --> 22:16.400 have to have the personal investment to say you must believe and listen to this thing right away. 22:16.400 --> 22:20.240 This is the most important thing. You can say, you know what, I heard something really interesting. 22:20.960 --> 22:25.840 Listen to this episode, tell me how you think. I found it curious. I was really interested by 22:25.920 --> 22:30.880 what they have to say. You can be non-committal, but curious, and that doesn't put pressure on 22:30.880 --> 22:35.040 the other person to have to just say, you're absolutely right. Those guys make complete sense. 22:35.040 --> 22:39.920 Maybe they're going to respond very negatively. And so one of the reasons that Corey and I created 22:39.920 --> 22:46.800 Stone Choir is that we can take the heat for you. We can be the crazy men screaming into the void 22:46.800 --> 22:51.040 on the internet. And then if a few people come along in here and say, yeah, that makes sense, 22:51.040 --> 22:56.640 then you can have a conversation with your friend in your own particular context in a way that 22:58.400 --> 23:03.680 we've delivered the scary payload, and then you can work with whatever bits and pieces and add 23:03.680 --> 23:08.720 your own. And say you disagree with something we said and agree with something else, but you can 23:08.720 --> 23:14.240 take the pressure off of yourself and off of your friends and family if you say, hey, here's something 23:14.240 --> 23:18.720 somebody else is doing. We've had a lot of feedback recently. I mentioned it to Adam on 23:18.720 --> 23:22.960 Myth of the 20th Century that a number of people have said wives and girlfriends have started 23:22.960 --> 23:27.600 listening. And I realize that for saying that to individuals who said that, it might seem a little 23:27.600 --> 23:33.280 doxy. Any wives and girlfriends who are listening, I want you to know that we've heard that dozens 23:33.280 --> 23:37.120 of times in the last couple of weeks. So you should assume if you were one of those wives and 23:37.120 --> 23:43.280 girl or girlfriends, hopefully not both that or mothers in some cases, it's not the man in your 23:43.280 --> 23:46.480 life that we're talking about. It's somebody else because there've been a bunch of people. So it's 23:46.480 --> 23:51.840 kind of like a firing squad where there's a blank. Assume that the guy that your boyfriend or husband 23:51.840 --> 23:56.640 who told you to watch, he's not the one who DMed us because we don't people feel like there's a 23:56.640 --> 24:01.840 conspiracy to trick you into believing things. That's precisely the opposite intent of what we 24:01.840 --> 24:07.040 have. Here's some stuff. Take it or leave it. We think there's some value here. That's an approach 24:07.040 --> 24:12.400 that when we take it in personally, it becomes very convincing just because the guys have relaxed. 24:12.400 --> 24:18.880 He's not freaking out. There's inherent skepticism when anyone delivers new information. 24:18.880 --> 24:23.920 And if they deliver it in a way that's wild-eyed and wants to grab you by the lapels and shake 24:23.920 --> 24:29.280 you and say, you must believe this, my first response is no. I want no part of that. So we 24:29.280 --> 24:33.280 want to make sure that we don't come across that way and we don't just naturally. That's not my 24:33.280 --> 24:39.600 personality or Cordy's personality, but the same can also be even more effective in person. 24:39.680 --> 24:43.440 Say, hey, there's this cool thing I learned about. What do you think about it? 24:43.440 --> 24:49.360 And ask that way. Don't say you must believe this. Say, here's an interesting article. Here's an 24:49.360 --> 24:54.640 interesting podcast. What do you think about this? And then use it as a springboard for your own 24:54.640 --> 25:00.720 discussion to think what you think about the thing. It doesn't need to be to mirror what some 25:00.720 --> 25:05.200 stranger on the internet told you. What do you think about the thing? How do you think it affects 25:05.200 --> 25:10.000 your life? That becomes personal. It doesn't become, here's a religious tenant of this new 25:10.560 --> 25:16.960 big red pill discovery I have. It's just, huh, I think this is a fact. And I think it has this 25:16.960 --> 25:22.480 to do with life. And I think that's relevant. What do you think? That can be an interesting 25:22.480 --> 25:29.520 human conversation at a small scale where there's no hard feelings. If they say that's racist, 25:29.520 --> 25:34.080 that's dumb, you can just laugh and say, well, I think everything gets called racist at this point. 25:34.080 --> 25:38.320 So I don't think that matters. Oh, by the way, those guys did an entire episode on the invention 25:38.320 --> 25:44.480 of racism in the 20th century. Maybe find out what the word that you're using actually means. 25:44.480 --> 25:49.360 And then again, you can blame someone else if they disagree. You don't have to fight. We don't 25:49.360 --> 25:55.600 want people fighting with each other or straining relationships for the sake of things that, 25:56.160 --> 26:00.720 even though they do have impact on all of our lives, it's not immediately obvious. 26:00.720 --> 26:07.520 And so the immediacy of the need is really what this part is about. There's no immediate need 26:07.520 --> 26:11.760 for the person you're talking to to agree with you. Just as there's no immediate need for you to 26:11.760 --> 26:16.800 agree with us, you listen to an episode saying, yeah, I don't get that. That's dumb, or it's crazy, 26:16.800 --> 26:21.520 or whatever. That's fine. Maybe you come back to a later, maybe you completely forget about it and 26:21.520 --> 26:26.880 never care. That's perfectly okay. If you take that approach with your friends and family, 26:26.880 --> 26:33.200 you can still have normal human relationships with them, even while you're incorporating new 26:33.200 --> 26:38.800 things that you've learned into your life and maybe your conversations. But don't make it the 26:38.800 --> 26:43.520 determining factor for whether or not you're going to be friends with your friends, or certainly 26:43.520 --> 26:47.440 whether you're going to have a loving relationship with family. None of these things should ever 26:47.440 --> 26:53.360 undermine those things as far as it depends on you. You touched on a couple of things there that 26:53.360 --> 26:58.400 I want to expand. But first, I guess I really should give an example of manipulation, 26:59.440 --> 27:04.080 not being a negative thing, because I did say that and some maybe have not encountered that. 27:05.440 --> 27:10.480 One of the best and most obvious examples is interacting with a small child, particularly 27:10.480 --> 27:16.560 one who is being cantankerous or uncooperative for some reason, maybe he doesn't want to put on his 27:16.560 --> 27:22.160 shoes. A neat little trick, if you've never done this with children, I highly recommend you use 27:22.160 --> 27:29.200 this, is instead of saying, would you like to do something? Or if you do this, then we'll 27:30.160 --> 27:36.240 give him two options, both of which are acceptable to you. So for instance, if your child is not 27:36.240 --> 27:41.680 picking what he wants to eat for lunch, or he's just being difficult with eating his lunch, 27:41.680 --> 27:47.360 say would you rather have carrots or broccoli? Assuming he'll actually eat either of those. 27:48.160 --> 27:54.480 Most children, when given the option of two things, will pick one. Yes, eventually they get old 27:54.480 --> 28:00.000 enough to figure out your trick and go, no, I want candy. But for a while it works. And that's 28:00.000 --> 28:06.720 manipulation. That's not negative. You're actually being a parent or an uncle or whatever you happen 28:06.720 --> 28:13.200 to be with relation to this child. You're doing your duty. And yes, you're manipulating the child 28:13.200 --> 28:17.120 to do it. But that's a positive. You're doing it for a good reason in a good way. 28:19.360 --> 28:26.480 But then the two things on which I wanted to expand. First, you touch tangentially on the fact 28:27.520 --> 28:35.360 that human beings are hardwired to process things negatively, more so than positively. 28:37.200 --> 28:42.560 This is just an important psychological and biological fact about humanity. And the reason 28:42.640 --> 28:50.080 for it is fairly obvious if you think about it. If you are walking through the woods, and you hear 28:50.080 --> 28:56.720 some strange noise, and you decide, yep, that must be a bear or a wolf, I am going to go the other 28:56.720 --> 29:03.440 direction, you're probably going to survive whatever that encounter is. Unless you're being 29:03.440 --> 29:08.960 actively stalked by something in which case, you're still more aware your odds go up. If on the other 29:08.960 --> 29:13.760 hand you are the person who just says, oh, must be a squirrel, and just keeps walking, you put a 29:13.760 --> 29:20.000 positive spin on it, you are more likely to be eaten by something and not survive. And so, 29:20.880 --> 29:27.200 evolutionarily, and I do mean in the micro sense, the minor sense, not speciation, I'm not talking 29:27.200 --> 29:32.720 about that. And as Christians, yes, we can say that evolution in the micro sense is true. We know 29:32.720 --> 29:37.600 that. That's why we have different breeds of dogs. That's why we have different races of men. But 29:37.600 --> 29:45.840 when it comes down to it, we are hardwired for a negative interpretation of novel information, 29:46.480 --> 29:53.200 unless we have reason, good reason, to put a positive spin on it. So this goes back to that 29:53.200 --> 29:59.760 building of a relationship. If you are speaking with someone whom you trust, and that person gives 29:59.760 --> 30:05.520 you novel information, you don't necessarily have to put the negative spin on it that you 30:05.520 --> 30:12.880 otherwise would because you trust the source. For instance, if we go back to the example of 30:12.880 --> 30:17.280 being out in the woods, if you're wandering through the woods and you find a random mushroom and pick 30:17.280 --> 30:22.800 it up, unless you're a crazy person, you're not going to just eat the random mushroom if you don't 30:22.800 --> 30:28.880 know what it is. However, if you're walking through the woods hiking with your friend who knows 30:28.880 --> 30:33.280 mushrooms really well and he hands you a mushroom, you're more likely to maybe try that. 30:33.600 --> 30:40.080 So it matters that relationship you have, and it's important to bear in mind that we are all, 30:40.800 --> 30:47.360 to various degrees, of course, hardwired to put a negative spin on novel information. 30:49.200 --> 30:53.040 At least if we haven't become completely credulous and we believe everything we hear, 30:53.520 --> 31:01.440 which is the opposite problem. But then I really already touched on the second point I wanted to 31:02.240 --> 31:11.840 expand on the issue of trust, and that's vital to all of this. Whether or not the audience trusts 31:11.840 --> 31:16.960 you, whether or not the person with whom you're speaking can trust the things you say, and that's 31:16.960 --> 31:23.280 built over time. Trust takes time to build. It can be destroyed in seconds, which is always important 31:23.280 --> 31:29.200 to bear in mind, but it takes time to build. And that is fundamentally one of the things 31:29.200 --> 31:36.400 that we are doing on this podcast. It's why we don't mislead on anything. Whether or not you want 31:36.400 --> 31:42.800 to hear it, whether or not it is going to be necessarily good for us to say it, whatever the 31:42.800 --> 31:49.200 consequences may be, if it's true, we're going to say it. Now, we may endeavor to say it in a way 31:49.200 --> 31:55.280 that is persuasive, hence why we are doing this episode, and it wouldn't make much sense if we 31:55.360 --> 32:02.240 deliberately produced episodes in a way that was not persuasive, but we are not going to subvert 32:02.240 --> 32:06.880 the facts or the truth in order to be persuasive, that veers into manipulation, 32:07.920 --> 32:14.400 because part of the reason we can be effective, part of the reason you can share these episodes 32:14.400 --> 32:22.160 with others and actually have people listen and perhaps believe the things we say, is because of 32:22.160 --> 32:28.400 that building of trust, the fact that we are going to tell the truth about every single topic 32:29.040 --> 32:37.680 that comes up on this podcast, because building that trust over time is vitally important, 32:37.680 --> 32:44.560 and all it takes is lying on one topic or about one facet of a topic, and it destroys that trust, 32:44.560 --> 32:49.120 because then people, when they listen to you, if they know in the past you've lied about something, 32:49.120 --> 32:54.000 particularly something important, then they're going to wonder if you're lying every time. 32:55.520 --> 33:01.600 Now, that eventually attenuates to some degree over time, so if you lied to someone 10 years 33:01.600 --> 33:07.360 ago about something, and you have been truthful since, that's largely in the past, 33:08.800 --> 33:16.800 but it can take years, so it is important to maintain that trust you have with others 33:16.800 --> 33:21.200 if you are going to attempt to be persuasive with those others. 33:22.320 --> 33:28.000 And on the subject of lying, it's important again to distinguish between if we were to 33:28.000 --> 33:34.080 deceive for the purpose of advancing one of our points, and if we simply got something factually 33:34.080 --> 33:40.000 wrong, we endeavored gray lengths not to let that happen, we're not perfect, we may miss speak, we 33:40.000 --> 33:46.080 may inadvertently misconstrue something, it's not going to be something that's a key part of a point, 33:46.080 --> 33:50.320 but we're not saying if anyone ever makes any mistakes in their entire life, you write them 33:50.320 --> 33:56.480 off, because that's insane, no one can survive that. But again, it's the deception, we talked last 33:56.480 --> 34:02.080 week about some of the people engaging in some of these clear deceptions, where it's clear that 34:02.080 --> 34:08.480 they're, whether they're grifters or they're just being entertaining, they're willing to 34:08.480 --> 34:14.640 fill people's heads full of lies for the sake of entertainment, and who knows what they get out 34:14.720 --> 34:21.600 of that doesn't matter. That's fundamentally different from just miss speaking or accidentally 34:21.600 --> 34:25.840 mistaking something, you know, for example, when I was on Myth of the 20th century is after I 34:25.840 --> 34:32.560 normally go to sleep, and so when I'm extremely tired, my reason, my faculties are fully intact, 34:32.560 --> 34:37.600 but my recall just goes in the toilet. So a couple times I completely flubbed some timeline stuff, 34:37.600 --> 34:41.920 and like, you know, if you, I practically had Moses landing on the moon, I was getting some 34:41.920 --> 34:47.440 of the timelines still wrong. That doesn't discredit what I said, because like, I acknowledge you at 34:47.440 --> 34:54.480 the time. But the overall point I was making wasn't hinging on that. And I think it's okay for you, 34:54.480 --> 35:00.560 like, try to get things straight before you say them as we do. But if you make a mistake, don't 35:01.120 --> 35:06.480 be terrified of that either. That's, that's human to, to miss speak or to accidentally get something 35:06.480 --> 35:11.840 wrong. If you find that you've made an error in something factually, go back and fix it. 35:13.040 --> 35:16.000 On the related note of, you know, outcome independence and 35:17.200 --> 35:23.680 convincing people over time, I think time is a key part of this. You know, when we do an episode, 35:23.680 --> 35:29.040 we lay it down and then move on. And we'll refer it off into previous episodes and newer ones, 35:29.040 --> 35:34.000 as we're doing in this one. For example, one of the early episodes we did on framing, 35:34.000 --> 35:39.120 this is really a continuation of that. In the framing episode, we focused entirely on 35:39.120 --> 35:44.880 the use of frame in persuasion or deception. So this is kind of a continuation of that 35:45.600 --> 35:50.960 metacognition aspect of things. You know, this is, this is a meta episode where we're talking 35:50.960 --> 35:56.560 about thinking about talking about things, which is most people don't normally approach 35:56.560 --> 36:00.880 things that way. We're willing to do that, even though it's, you know, it's kind of a lull episode 36:00.880 --> 36:05.440 in terms of here's not a ton of new facts. It's just we've been delivering so many facts over 36:05.440 --> 36:10.240 the last number of months that are really hard to swallow. In some cases for some people, 36:10.960 --> 36:15.280 we want to just give people a little bit of time to digest and then figure out how to incorporate 36:15.280 --> 36:20.640 it themselves. I want to give a personal example of this, just kind of demonstrate, like we, 36:20.640 --> 36:25.440 we don't want to make this about us, but on this podcast, we are the frame of reference for everything. 36:25.440 --> 36:30.400 So as you're listening, you know, you can apply what we're saying about ourselves 36:30.400 --> 36:33.840 in your own lives. I don't want you thinking about us when you're thinking about yourself 36:33.840 --> 36:38.960 and how you can live a better Christian life, speaking faithfully in your community. So 36:38.960 --> 36:44.000 just pointing to our example is not intended to be self aggrandizing. It's literally just 36:44.000 --> 36:47.200 here's something that happened and maybe you can learn something from it. 36:48.160 --> 36:55.120 I was on Gab for a year or so. I prior to that, I had engaged before I got on Gab for, 36:55.120 --> 36:58.640 for good, after I finally got expelled from Twitter for the last time, 36:58.640 --> 37:03.040 I had engaged with Andrew Torbund Gab and I eventually gave him a whole rash of crap 37:03.040 --> 37:07.280 because of some of his hiring practices. I was pretty antagonistic about him openly and he 37:07.280 --> 37:13.680 blocked me and like, I don't blame him. I was, I was ankle biting on his timeline. And I was right 37:13.680 --> 37:18.800 incidentally about his hiring practices. He turned out later on to regret some of those people, but 37:20.160 --> 37:24.160 we began with kind of a strange relationship and then I got on Gab and he gave me a second chance 37:24.160 --> 37:28.320 and eventually he started boosting some of the things that I said and I appreciated that because 37:29.040 --> 37:38.080 I had shifted focus more than in 2017 versus 2020. And I can't remember the time. I think it was, 37:38.800 --> 37:46.000 it was either the end of 2019 or 2020 was, I think it's probably 2020 when I was invited by Andrew 37:46.000 --> 37:54.160 to do an essay on Christian nationalism. It was one of the earliest things that news.gab had been. 37:54.160 --> 38:00.000 They'd just begun sort of highlighting writers from the community. Boniface Option was one of 38:00.000 --> 38:05.120 the first guys he had and he had a few others, but I was one of the very first. I was almost the first 38:05.120 --> 38:11.040 to be invited to discuss anything about Christian nationalism. Now, the episode that Cory and I 38:11.040 --> 38:17.120 did on Christian nationalism earlier this year was a much more fully fleshed out version of 38:17.120 --> 38:22.880 what I gave to Andrew. And the reason I'm highlighting this example is that when I was 38:22.880 --> 38:28.160 invited to do that, both Andrew and I knew, like we've never, we've never had private personal 38:28.160 --> 38:32.480 conversations about any of this stuff. I can just help like by reading the room, reading the audience, 38:32.480 --> 38:35.840 even if it's an audience of man, one, if it's another man you're interacting with. 38:36.640 --> 38:41.440 It was clear to both of us at the time that I was further to the right on things like race and 38:41.440 --> 38:47.440 in capital and nationalism than he was. And so when he invited me to write on Christian nationalism, 38:47.440 --> 38:56.320 I knew at that time that if I were to make the fully racialist case for the subject that we 38:56.320 --> 39:01.520 made on Stone Choir, he wasn't going to publish it because at the time, at least those were not 39:01.520 --> 39:06.720 his views. And so I didn't want to be antagonistic. It was an honor to be asked to do anything about 39:06.720 --> 39:10.720 a subject that was important to me. So I think we'll link in the show notes the essay that I did 39:10.720 --> 39:15.600 on Christian nationalism. So you can take a look at it if you're interested and maybe contrast it 39:15.600 --> 39:20.800 with some of the things that we say on this episode. I bring this up because it's an example 39:20.800 --> 39:27.120 of being patient in your persuasion. I could have done a couple different things when Andrew came to 39:27.680 --> 39:32.960 me. I could have fought him and said, well, I'm only going to write for you if I get to make the 39:32.960 --> 39:38.320 completely racial case for what nations are. And I'm going to say that America is a white's only 39:38.320 --> 39:43.520 country. And that's going to be the point. If I had done that, he would have flat out said no. 39:43.520 --> 39:49.200 I knew that. And so I didn't. I wasn't going to be antagonistic. Again, when you look at the essay, 39:49.200 --> 39:55.680 everything that I say is entirely true. I was not being deceptive about what I said. However, 39:55.760 --> 40:00.800 I omitted a big chunk of the argument for Christian nationalism by basically just focusing on the 40:00.800 --> 40:06.880 Christian part. I talked about the history. I talked about the state of the West of Christendom 40:06.880 --> 40:11.680 and then the United States in terms of Christianity and a Christian government. 40:12.640 --> 40:17.920 I almost completely omitted any discussion of race because again, I knew it wouldn't be welcome. 40:17.920 --> 40:24.080 I knew there would be too far at that time. So that was an example in my mind of trying to be 40:24.080 --> 40:29.520 effectively persuasive. I did make the case for Christian nationalism on the Christian side. 40:29.520 --> 40:33.520 And there's absolutely a case to be made there. Here's what Christian 40:34.560 --> 40:39.920 nations look like. I completely omitted any discussion of what nation means, which is, 40:39.920 --> 40:44.720 again, the other half of the conversation. And I did that because I knew it wouldn't be welcome. 40:45.360 --> 40:50.560 A few years on, he's saying many of the same things now publicly that I was saying that. 40:50.880 --> 40:56.480 Again, I haven't talked to him, but just based on the other things going on at the time, 40:56.480 --> 41:00.880 I knew they wouldn't be welcome. And so rather than picking a fight with a guy who might already 41:00.880 --> 41:08.320 fought in the past, we got over it, whatever, I chose to bite my tongue and to make the narrow 41:08.320 --> 41:13.360 case that I could make that we could both agree on. I'm not to say that he endorsed 100% of what 41:13.360 --> 41:18.880 I said, but he was willing to publish it pretty much as is. I didn't push any buttons that were 41:18.880 --> 41:24.960 going to alienate the people he wanted to reach at the time. That's persuasion. You can make part 41:24.960 --> 41:29.920 of the case, even knowing that you have other stuff to say. So what does this have to do with 41:29.920 --> 41:35.680 you personally? You don't have to say it all at once. It's fine to just get one or two things out 41:35.680 --> 41:42.720 on the table and let people digest it. A lot of the things that my friends and I were saying 41:42.720 --> 41:48.320 on Gab at the time are things that now Andrew is much more willing to say in public. I don't think 41:48.320 --> 41:52.480 he believed in them. He's more willing to say them now because he realized that we were right. 41:53.360 --> 41:58.160 I'm certainly not taking personal credit for whatever to whatever degree he was persuaded by 41:58.160 --> 42:03.920 anything. I'm simply pointing out the fact that if instead of doing what I did, if I had been 42:03.920 --> 42:09.520 antagonistic, if I had said, unless we go whole hog and do everything that I want us to say, I don't 42:09.520 --> 42:14.560 want any part of it, if you're an aggravating friend, if you're an aggravating ally to someone, 42:15.040 --> 42:19.920 that's a turn off to whatever it is you're trying to convey. If I have a point to make, 42:19.920 --> 42:25.600 I want to make it as gently and persuasively as possible. It's funny for me to say gently because 42:25.600 --> 42:30.640 I think a lot of people assume that Corey and I are bomb throwers. We're bulls in a china shop 42:30.640 --> 42:36.720 just storming through everything that's going on and just leaving wreckage in our wake. That's not 42:36.720 --> 42:42.640 the case, but if you're not giving us a charitable view, particularly if you're just looking at social 42:42.640 --> 42:48.160 media, some people conclude that most of that frankly is reputational. It's not things that 42:48.160 --> 42:53.840 I've done, it's things that people have said about me. Whatever, if I have to worry about what 42:53.840 --> 42:59.600 people are thinking about me, it's a complete waste of time. I worry about people getting these 42:59.600 --> 43:06.720 subjects right. When I was offered the opportunity to make a case for Christian nationalism, I did 43:06.720 --> 43:11.200 the best I could in the constraints that I had at the time. Then when Corey and I had our own 43:11.200 --> 43:16.960 platform here on Stonequire to make a more fleshed out case, particularly for the nation side, 43:16.960 --> 43:23.920 the racial side of Christian nationalism, we made it here. We made it in public in a way that 43:23.920 --> 43:29.200 people who may be read part of it before they've heard it elsewhere, they can come along at their 43:29.200 --> 43:34.240 own pace. I think that's another key element of this, let people come along at their own pace 43:34.240 --> 43:38.320 because you're not trying to fix them. I wasn't trying to fix Andrew or anyone else, 43:38.320 --> 43:43.040 I was just trying to tell the truth. If there's only a portion of it that they can receive 43:43.040 --> 43:48.560 and absorb, it's important to know that and to leave the rest out because if I can give you 43:49.280 --> 43:53.600 one dish that you're really going to like and another dish that I know you're going to hate, 43:54.320 --> 43:58.160 if the goal is for me to get you to eat a dish, I'll give you the one you're going to like. 43:58.160 --> 44:03.120 I can save the broccoli for later, give you the carrots, that's perfectly fine. 44:04.080 --> 44:07.680 We get so excited about trying to convince people and trying to fix them 44:07.680 --> 44:11.600 that we forget that in many cases we didn't believe this stuff a few years ago, 44:11.600 --> 44:17.440 so just be patient, show some grace and give people a chance to come along at their own pace 44:17.440 --> 44:23.280 and leave them as much room as you can. Tell them a truth where you can find common ground 44:23.280 --> 44:26.640 and push them a little bit, give them a little bit more than they're comfortable with, 44:26.640 --> 44:32.000 give them something to think about, but if you try to just waterboard someone and put it down 44:32.000 --> 44:37.680 their throat all at once, you're going to alienate them even with the truth because the manner in 44:37.680 --> 44:44.080 which it's presented is so much worse that who cares what the content is if you're aggravating, 44:44.080 --> 44:49.280 because people don't want anything to do with you. Be patient, have low time preference. We talk 44:49.280 --> 44:55.920 about this all the time in the racial space. There are certain races that have higher or lower 44:55.920 --> 45:03.040 time preference. They're more focused on the future or the current and we must be patient, 45:03.040 --> 45:08.640 we must be focused on the future and knowing telling something to someone that's hard to hear 45:08.640 --> 45:12.880 is probably going to take some time. It might have taken you time to absorb it, it's going to take 45:12.880 --> 45:18.080 them maybe even more time because you have a certain set of give-ins and experiences, 45:18.080 --> 45:23.440 theirs are different. If it takes them twice as long as you, just let it happen. Give them a 45:23.440 --> 45:29.440 little bit, give them what they can digest and then wait and be willing to answer questions in a way 45:29.440 --> 45:34.400 that's not challenging, that doesn't make them feel like you think there's something wrong with them, 45:34.400 --> 45:38.640 that they don't agree with you, just give it time, be patient. 45:39.760 --> 45:42.320 So you're saying that time preference actually matters? 45:44.400 --> 45:50.320 It matters tremendously and in the same people who think that the whites have super low time 45:50.400 --> 45:55.040 preference and we're just the masters of patience, as soon as we learn something new we go nuts and 45:55.040 --> 45:59.760 like, oh I gotta tell everyone right away. It's good to be excited, it's bad to make other people 45:59.760 --> 46:06.720 regret being in the same room with you. I was actually just discussing something tangentially 46:06.720 --> 46:15.120 related to this with someone last night. When you're building an argument, you may very well 46:15.120 --> 46:22.800 have to build the argument in pieces. And there's a tendency for some when it comes to politics or 46:22.800 --> 46:29.520 religion, these hot button issues as it were, to attempt to get someone to believe everything 46:29.520 --> 46:35.200 all at once. And that's just not how things work, that's particularly not how human beings work. 46:36.800 --> 46:43.280 To some degree beliefs and things like that, very few people are going to turn on a dime and go 46:43.280 --> 46:48.640 from believing one thing to believing the diametrically opposed thing. Usually how it 46:48.640 --> 46:53.360 works is more akin to Bayesian updating, which essentially is just a fancy way of saying that 46:53.360 --> 46:59.920 as additional information comes in, the person slowly moves with regard to what he believes about 46:59.920 --> 47:07.920 the issue. And so over time you may get someone to change his position on something, you're probably 47:07.920 --> 47:14.640 not going to get that in one discussion, in one conversation with most people. Some men, yes, 47:14.640 --> 47:19.040 if you present a strong enough case, they'll say, I was wrong previously, I now believe this. 47:19.680 --> 47:27.280 You may encounter some men like that. Not many. Most people take time to change their views, 47:27.280 --> 47:33.440 particularly on important things. And the context in which I was discussing this 47:33.440 --> 47:40.800 with the aforementioned person was basically apologetics. How do you prove the Christian 47:40.800 --> 47:46.720 God is the true God? I'm not going to go into apologetics in depth in this episode, because 47:46.720 --> 47:51.920 I'm sure eventually we'll get around to probably a series of episodes on apologetics, different 47:51.920 --> 47:58.880 arguments for God and things like that. But the core point that I want to draw out of that 47:59.120 --> 48:07.120 is that when you're building the argument for the Christian God, you don't start by arguing 48:07.120 --> 48:13.120 for the Christian God. Particularly if you're dealing with an atheist or an agnostic, if you're 48:13.120 --> 48:18.800 dealing with someone who doesn't even believe in God, you don't start by saying, Jesus is your Lord 48:18.800 --> 48:24.400 and Savior, period. That's not going to get you anywhere. The person is going to stop listening 48:24.400 --> 48:28.880 and probably walk away and probably also be quite annoyed with you and perhaps not listen to you 48:28.880 --> 48:37.120 again. Instead, if you're building up, you build up to that argument by establishing more basic 48:37.120 --> 48:43.600 facts, by laying the groundwork, building a foundation. And you do that by establishing, 48:44.240 --> 48:50.000 well, there's something other than matter. If there's something other than matter, 48:50.000 --> 48:56.240 the universe is not purely material. It's not a materialistic universe. We have to explain 48:56.240 --> 49:02.160 this thing that isn't matter. And then you can get into proving the necessity of the infinite. 49:02.720 --> 49:08.160 Then you can prove that the infinite is personal. The infinite being personal must be God. 49:09.040 --> 49:15.120 And then you can move on from there and build up and build your argument piece by piece and arrive 49:15.120 --> 49:21.200 at the conclusion that the Christian God is the only explanation for the information presented. 49:22.800 --> 49:28.080 But that takes time. That takes patience. That takes multiple interactions with this person. 49:28.080 --> 49:32.480 You're probably not going to go through all of this in one marathon session. Maybe you will. 49:32.480 --> 49:36.480 Maybe you happen to be the kind of person who enjoys that. And if the other person also does, 49:36.480 --> 49:42.560 then by all means talk about it for six hours. But typically speaking, it is going to take 49:42.960 --> 49:51.840 many interactions over a course of days or weeks, months, even years. I have friends where I have 49:51.840 --> 49:58.400 discussed religion and these issues for years with these people. They've slowly changed their 49:58.400 --> 50:05.520 position, but it takes time. And some are more resistant to change than others. My father has 50:05.680 --> 50:14.320 a friend that he has had for, I want to say 30 years almost, who recently became a Christian 50:16.080 --> 50:24.400 after my father had been discussing religion with him for 30 years. Patience matters. These things, 50:24.400 --> 50:29.120 when they're these very important things, are going to be in large part in God's time. That 50:29.120 --> 50:34.000 doesn't mean don't play your role, do your part. Of course, do that. That's your duty as a Christian. 50:34.160 --> 50:41.520 But be patient. Recognize that a lot of these things are to some degree out of your hand. 50:43.120 --> 50:50.640 We're advising you to be effective and to be wise as a serpent. When it comes to the things 50:50.640 --> 50:55.200 that are in your hands, the things that are in your control, don't worry about the things that aren't. 50:55.840 --> 51:05.120 There was one time when Martin Luther was asked why he wasn't more worried about the state 51:05.760 --> 51:11.440 of Christian knowledge amongst supposed Christians and just the general state of Christendom, 51:12.240 --> 51:19.440 and his response was that he put in the work and the outcome was in God's hands and so he 51:19.440 --> 51:26.000 could enjoy his beer with melanchthon. That's the right perspective to have on these things. 51:28.000 --> 51:31.840 And that's why that outcome independence that was mentioned earlier matters. 51:33.600 --> 51:39.840 Do the thing because it is the thing you should do, not because it guarantees a result, because 51:39.840 --> 51:45.360 when it comes to human beings, the result is almost never guaranteed. Particularly when you're 51:45.360 --> 51:49.920 dealing with persuasion, you're dealing with psychology, you're dealing with things 51:49.920 --> 51:56.160 that are very much beyond your control. You can influence these things. You cannot really control 51:56.160 --> 52:03.600 them. So you can make the persuasive argument. You can properly engage with other people. 52:04.960 --> 52:10.640 But if you become obsessed with the outcome, you're actually going to harm your chances of arriving 52:10.640 --> 52:17.280 there because you're going to be obnoxious. If you're constantly insisting, no, you absolutely must 52:17.280 --> 52:24.560 believe this specific conclusion. And yes, that's sort of what social media and certain 52:25.360 --> 52:32.320 fora tend to encourage, that it brings it out of a certain personality type. I willingly admit that 52:32.320 --> 52:39.120 I engage in some of that sometimes. But there's a time and a place. Engaging on Twitter again, 52:39.120 --> 52:44.400 general audience, you probably don't know most of those people personally. You're going to engage 52:44.400 --> 52:50.720 differently from how you engage with a family member or a close friend or someone you met at a bar. 52:51.760 --> 52:59.440 Stranger, what have you. So know your audience. When you know your audience and you aren't 53:00.560 --> 53:05.600 so hyper focused on the outcome that you can just be a person and have a conversation, 53:06.560 --> 53:15.280 you are going to be so much more effective than if you are just hyper laser focused on that outcome 53:16.240 --> 53:23.440 and driving people away because you're being abrasive. If you're being abrasive or obnoxious, 53:23.440 --> 53:29.760 you are going to be less effective. That's just the fact of the matter. Yes, it's about the truth, 53:29.760 --> 53:36.480 ultimately. The truth matters. But your goal is to get people to believe the truth. Hopefully, 53:36.480 --> 53:40.320 that's your goal. That's not your goal, then it's manipulation and you're doing something you should 53:40.320 --> 53:47.040 stop. But if your goal is to get people to believe the truth, then yes, you are absolutely correct 53:47.760 --> 53:55.440 to say, think and believe that the truth matters. But that's not the end of it. Because you have to 53:55.520 --> 54:01.440 have a way. You have to know how to get people to that truth. And you can't get them to the truth. 54:02.000 --> 54:07.520 If all you do is just keep insisting, this is the truth and you must believe it. You have to 54:07.520 --> 54:12.800 know how to get to the truth. And that's where what we're discussing in this episode comes in. 54:13.520 --> 54:21.040 That's where persuasion matters. How do you get from where you are to where you need to be? 54:21.840 --> 54:27.360 How do you get other people to join you in going to where they need to be? 54:28.080 --> 54:34.720 Where is the truth? How do we get there? Another big part of persuasion is having 54:34.720 --> 54:42.640 that degree of confidence, not necessarily in yourself, but in your beliefs. We did the episode 54:42.640 --> 54:47.920 on the fear of the Lord I talked about when I had a stroke and my confidence in God and the fact 54:47.920 --> 54:55.040 that that's not me, that's not my faith doing something because I chose it for it to do that. 54:55.040 --> 55:01.680 That was God giving me a gift and taking care of me when I needed it. And I only mention it then, 55:01.680 --> 55:08.160 I only mention it now because it's an example of how when we have genuine confidence in the promises 55:08.160 --> 55:14.560 of the one true God, it's something from outside us that doesn't, it gives us a sort of supreme 55:14.640 --> 55:20.720 confidence that in the liturgy it's described as the peace of God which passes all understanding. 55:21.440 --> 55:28.240 That sort of absolute assurance in a belief. And I'm not saying that everything that you 55:28.240 --> 55:33.200 believe about all these material things should have the same degree of confidence as your 55:33.200 --> 55:38.000 confidence in your faith. Our faith should be paramount. And so there are a lot of aspects 55:38.000 --> 55:44.400 of this episode that go to sharing the gospel, but they also equally apply to sharing other things. 55:45.040 --> 55:50.640 Regardless of what we're sharing, when we're confident in what we're saying, that comes across. 55:50.640 --> 55:56.000 And there's a mixture of, there's a balancing act between the confidence in what we have to say 55:56.720 --> 56:02.560 and the desire for others to believe it. Corey's father's friend, after 30 years, 56:03.360 --> 56:09.280 regardless of the arguments that his dad made to him, the fact that he still cared enough and 56:09.280 --> 56:17.360 loved him enough and didn't give an inch of ground on the subject, all by itself was a testimony to 56:17.360 --> 56:22.800 his faith to the fact that there was something real there. Because that sort of persistence 56:23.440 --> 56:29.520 is rarely found where falsehood is found. People don't die with the lie, not in real life. 56:30.160 --> 56:34.080 You know, if you're trying to trick someone, you might try to go down with a ship for 56:34.080 --> 56:40.720 something to gain some advantage, but only if you actually believe something will you stick to it 56:40.720 --> 56:48.000 when you have nothing else left to cling to. And so as we look to be persuasive, it's not about 56:48.800 --> 56:52.320 winning arguments. I think that's one of the key things. It's not about winning arguments on the 56:52.320 --> 56:58.320 internet or in person or anything else. It's not about winning. It's about if you have the truth, 56:58.960 --> 57:03.760 any truth, and someone else is missing it. The problem you're trying to solve 57:03.760 --> 57:09.120 is to convey that truth to them in a way that they'll actually receive it. And again, 57:09.120 --> 57:14.320 that may take patience. It may take a particularly rational argument. It depends on whom you're 57:14.320 --> 57:19.440 speaking with. Different men will respond differently to different types of arguments. 57:19.440 --> 57:25.680 And so in some cases for some individuals, maybe you're not up to it. And that's fine. You know, 57:25.680 --> 57:32.640 a lot of people are not equipped to make the fully sound convincing argument for something 57:32.640 --> 57:40.400 to any random man. You know, if there's a blue collar guy who's a machinist in his spare time, 57:40.400 --> 57:46.320 he does small engine repair. He probably doesn't worry about any of this crap. And God bless him 57:46.320 --> 57:52.880 for it. I wish the more people didn't have to worry about these things. The reason that a man like 57:52.880 --> 57:58.800 that becomes the battle space is that while he is blessed by not paying attention to any of this 57:58.800 --> 58:04.800 stuff, many of the subjects that we've discussed in the past episodes are still floating around in 58:04.800 --> 58:11.280 the ambient world. And so he's absorbing bits of pieces. And some of those things have been 58:11.280 --> 58:17.120 deliberately inserted into the world that he's only barely paying attention to in order to 58:17.120 --> 58:23.760 encircle him and limit the options for his kids, his community, his schools, whatever. 58:24.400 --> 58:30.240 He has fewer options. He has fewer legitimate moral choices in the world's morality, 58:30.240 --> 58:34.640 because of the things that we talk about. So while he's not paying attention to it, 58:36.000 --> 58:39.760 maybe there's a time and a place where you would have a small piece of the discussion 58:39.760 --> 58:46.880 with such a man and say, Hey, did you care about X, Y, and Z in the news? I think that this is what's 58:46.880 --> 58:51.440 going on. I learned this other bit. I think we connect A to B. There's a picture there. 58:52.000 --> 58:55.200 The guy who's not going to pay much attention, maybe you can make a case to him. And maybe 58:55.200 --> 59:00.640 that's all you do. Maybe all he's worried about is the local schools where his kids go and he wants 59:00.640 --> 59:07.840 his kids to turn out as decent human beings as everyone does. You don't need to make a full case 59:07.840 --> 59:12.560 to every single person. You need to make the necessary case to make sure that they can't be 59:13.200 --> 59:18.720 used against you. They can't be weaponized to harm what's around them. And for some people, 59:18.720 --> 59:22.000 that's the whole hog. There are some people that are sufficiently engaged. They're 59:22.720 --> 59:27.680 sufficiently persuasive to others that if they're missing out on something, 59:28.400 --> 59:34.240 it's important for someone to reach them. When I was on Myth of the 20th Century, 59:34.240 --> 59:38.080 one of the questions that Hans asked me was if I could recommend any books on Christian nationalism. 59:38.640 --> 59:43.600 And I mentioned Torba and Boniface Options' book and Stephen Wolf's book. And I said, 59:43.600 --> 59:48.880 I hadn't read them. And I think maybe I was a bit uncharitable to those books. Because I hadn't 59:48.880 --> 59:53.680 read them, the only impressions I had of them were of the things that those men have said 59:54.240 --> 01:00:00.240 since they came out over the last year or so. And my impression was that the arguments that 01:00:00.240 --> 01:00:05.200 they were making were essentially civic nationalist arguments, arguments that 01:00:06.160 --> 01:00:11.920 blood doesn't matter, that nations are countries, and therefore it's a legal entity. That was the 01:00:11.920 --> 01:00:17.360 impression I had. If that was wrong, I apologize. Certainly lately, some of their comments are 01:00:17.360 --> 01:00:24.000 much closer to the things that we're saying. I'm thankful for that. Again, I highlight that to say 01:00:24.000 --> 01:00:30.720 that I think that when those books came out, they were making another part of the argument for 01:00:30.800 --> 01:00:34.800 Christian nationalism. Just as I did in the original essay, there was a lot more to say than 01:00:34.800 --> 01:00:40.320 what I said. It's perfectly legitimate to make part of the argument if it's part that you can 01:00:41.040 --> 01:00:46.800 gain credibility with and you can make credibly. The reason that I highlighted the distinction 01:00:46.800 --> 01:00:53.280 between my overtly racial view of Christian nationalism on Myth of the 20th Century with 01:00:53.280 --> 01:00:59.920 Adam was that I know that much of his audience is not Christian or not particularly engaged. 01:01:00.480 --> 01:01:07.120 What they see coming from within the church is a completely pan-nationalist, essentially 01:01:07.120 --> 01:01:12.800 universalism, that all human beings are completely interchangeable, borders are evil, 01:01:13.520 --> 01:01:20.880 countries should be subsumed by basically NGOs, just unifying us as one human mass of 01:01:22.400 --> 01:01:28.000 charity cases. It's just all the horrors that Soros is producing, especially in Europe, because 01:01:28.640 --> 01:01:33.600 guys can walk or take a boat from Africa into Europe. It's harder to get them here. They have 01:01:33.600 --> 01:01:40.320 to walk up from Mexico. I wanted to specifically highlight to his audience that there's an 01:01:40.320 --> 01:01:47.040 explicitly racial case that is a fundamental case, in my view, of the Christian nationalist argument, 01:01:47.040 --> 01:01:53.200 because I don't want people to think the only way to be Christian is to say that all states must 01:01:53.200 --> 01:02:00.080 collapse, that all borders must be destroyed, that all people must be wiped out by virtue of 01:02:00.080 --> 01:02:04.880 interbreeding, that you take every race, you mix it with every other race until we're all the same 01:02:04.880 --> 01:02:10.080 color, we have no differentiating features whatsoever. There are a lot of people in the church 01:02:10.080 --> 01:02:15.680 saying precisely that. If I was uncharitable or if I was inaccurate, I apologize to them. 01:02:16.320 --> 01:02:19.440 I was trying to specifically make the case that there's absolutely 01:02:20.400 --> 01:02:27.200 a racial view in Scripture of nations. It's synonymous. It's synonymous in the law, 01:02:27.200 --> 01:02:32.960 in the 1790s in this country. It's synonymous 2000 years earlier in Scripture. The reason that 01:02:32.960 --> 01:02:39.120 there's not much discussion of race and Christian history is it was so obvious. There's no theology 01:02:39.120 --> 01:02:43.760 for us to go back to and borrow from the past when men were more intelligent about making these 01:02:43.760 --> 01:02:50.240 arguments, because this wasn't the fight. The fight in previous centuries was about other doctrines. 01:02:51.120 --> 01:02:59.040 Today, when Satan moves the fight to being about race, about genes, about borders, 01:02:59.040 --> 01:03:05.840 about the created body, male and female, two sexes, not infinite sexes, disparate races, 01:03:05.840 --> 01:03:12.400 distinct races, not some just sea of humanity that's indistinguishable, those are the two sides 01:03:12.480 --> 01:03:19.600 that they're the most important for me to defend. Back to my point earlier about Andrew, 01:03:19.600 --> 01:03:23.600 if I had attacked him at the time and said, no, we must make the racialist case, 01:03:23.600 --> 01:03:28.480 or there's no case at all, I don't think that he would necessarily be where he is today. 01:03:28.480 --> 01:03:32.480 Again, I'm not taking credit for that. I'm just saying I could have very easily done harm 01:03:33.040 --> 01:03:39.040 to my views by being a jerk about it. If I had argued and picked a fight, in fact, 01:03:39.040 --> 01:03:44.720 I left Gab about a year later, or maybe not too long after. For unrelated reasons, 01:03:44.720 --> 01:03:49.680 I was very frustrated with some business choices he had made, some moderation choices, 01:03:49.680 --> 01:03:58.480 some culture choices on Gab. I made a strategic decision about persuasion not to fling mud at him, 01:03:58.480 --> 01:04:02.480 because although I disagreed with the things that he was doing on his platform, 01:04:02.480 --> 01:04:07.040 not mine, he's the boss, he owns it, he can do what he wants with it. I strongly disagreed with 01:04:07.040 --> 01:04:11.360 some of the things that he did and I kept my mouth shut. The reason I did that, 01:04:11.360 --> 01:04:15.280 the reason I didn't go after him when I was pissed off and I was disappointed, was that 01:04:16.000 --> 01:04:20.480 despite my differences with him about how he was running his business and some of those strategic 01:04:20.480 --> 01:04:26.480 decisions, he was still doing very good work and things that mattered to me. I knew that alienating 01:04:26.480 --> 01:04:32.800 him and being a jerk, being the guy who's sniping at someone, would make anything that I'm saying 01:04:32.880 --> 01:04:39.680 elsewhere a turn off to him. I highly am in particular because he has influence, 01:04:39.680 --> 01:04:46.320 he has much more influence than we have. We're not ankle biters and we're not trying to ride 01:04:46.320 --> 01:04:51.280 coattails, but if there are people, there are certain people in the world who have bully 01:04:51.280 --> 01:04:57.600 pulpits, there are people who have influence over more people than you do. If you're in a position 01:04:57.600 --> 01:05:02.240 where you can influence someone who's more influential than you, it's really important to 01:05:02.240 --> 01:05:07.600 get it right and part of that is not making them regret listening to you. I didn't go after him 01:05:07.600 --> 01:05:12.160 despite the fact that I was frustrated at the time. I pretty much kept my mouth shut publicly 01:05:12.160 --> 01:05:16.640 other than saying a couple things that were limited to the scope of that because he's doing 01:05:16.640 --> 01:05:22.160 really good work. I saw the trajectory and I hope that he would continue to, for lack of a better 01:05:22.160 --> 01:05:28.400 term, move to the right and he has. He's saying a lot of the things today on Twitter and on Gab 01:05:28.400 --> 01:05:34.320 that were on the verge of getting people banned from Gab a few years ago. People change, people's 01:05:34.320 --> 01:05:41.680 views change and sometimes being persuasive is just biting your tongue. One of the most persuasive 01:05:41.680 --> 01:05:47.520 things that I did in that particular situation was not to be antagonistic about something that 01:05:47.520 --> 01:05:52.560 wasn't a big ticket item. They had to do with this platform, but it didn't have to do with the 01:05:52.560 --> 01:06:00.560 larger project that I saw as allies. I want this to be a Christian nation. I want his kids to grow 01:06:00.560 --> 01:06:04.800 up in a place where they're not going to be persecuted for the fact that they're white. 01:06:05.440 --> 01:06:10.400 That's important to me. I don't have kids on my own. I never will. The only thing that I can do 01:06:10.400 --> 01:06:15.600 is effectively to fight for other people's kids in their world. I don't get anything out of any of 01:06:15.600 --> 01:06:21.280 this. One of the things that Adam mentioned to me after doing the podcast was that he sees the 01:06:21.360 --> 01:06:26.080 treatment that Corey and I have received at the hands of the church as part of our persuasion to 01:06:26.080 --> 01:06:32.400 him. He can tell that we are sincere because we're being treated like crap by some of the people he 01:06:32.400 --> 01:06:38.560 sees as being detrimental to the world. I apologize if I'm speaking out of turn by saying something 01:06:38.560 --> 01:06:43.920 he said to me private, but that is a common view that I think a lot of people have. Corey and I 01:06:43.920 --> 01:06:49.440 understand that instinctively. We also understand it explicitly from all the conversations we've had 01:06:49.440 --> 01:06:55.520 with these men. There are a lot of men on the right who don't have a church. They don't know God. 01:06:55.520 --> 01:07:02.240 They see ontological evil in the world and they're looking for where people talk about ontological 01:07:02.240 --> 01:07:07.280 good. That should be the church. It is the church. Yet Corey and I are two of the only men in the 01:07:07.280 --> 01:07:13.200 world who can speak to men like Adam and say, look, there's a Christian case to be made for not 01:07:13.200 --> 01:07:18.160 destroying your race in your nation, in your country. There's a Christian case for that. 01:07:18.160 --> 01:07:22.960 There's a moral case. There's a secular case too. I want there to be a Christian voice in those 01:07:23.840 --> 01:07:30.160 conversations. If you're persuasive in a way that makes you, someone people are willing to listen to, 01:07:30.160 --> 01:07:35.040 you're given the opportunities to say more than maybe you would have just said on your own. 01:07:36.480 --> 01:07:40.800 If we were the bomb throwers that people say we are, he wouldn't want to talk to me. I'd just be 01:07:40.800 --> 01:07:48.400 another crazy guy on the internet. If you can seem calm and persuasive and relaxed and not worry 01:07:48.400 --> 01:07:54.960 about what people think, people care more about what you think. It's one of the many ironies of 01:07:54.960 --> 01:08:01.120 the way the human psychology works. We're convinced by people who don't care if they're convincing, 01:08:01.120 --> 01:08:05.280 more than we're convinced by people who really want to be convincing. It's not an act on the 01:08:05.280 --> 01:08:11.520 part of Cory and myself. I want you to believe because it's true. I frequently say if we never 01:08:11.520 --> 01:08:16.720 get any credit, fine, whatever. We never wanted to do this in the first place. We didn't want to 01:08:16.720 --> 01:08:21.600 start a podcast. We did it because we felt that no one else was speaking to these matters. 01:08:22.400 --> 01:08:27.840 The subject of credibility, if you go back and look at the arc of episodes on Stone Choir, 01:08:27.840 --> 01:08:31.920 we waited until we were six, eight months in until we got into some of the really 01:08:32.720 --> 01:08:37.440 controversial so-called subjects. That was conscious. That was deliberate on our part. 01:08:37.440 --> 01:08:43.120 If we had begun on episode one talking about Africans and Jews and these other things that 01:08:43.120 --> 01:08:47.920 get people so angry, we would have just been the podcast that talks about really angering, 01:08:47.920 --> 01:08:54.080 controversial subjects. That's not us. There's a lot of things to talk about. It's fine to tailor 01:08:54.080 --> 01:09:00.000 the message, narrow it down, and make your point, and then wait. Let the point do its work. Then 01:09:00.080 --> 01:09:04.880 you come back later and see if anything's growing and find out if it was rocky soil 01:09:04.880 --> 01:09:11.920 or if it was fertile soil. You never know. It's the truth that gives the growth to the message. 01:09:13.760 --> 01:09:17.600 It's ultimately not how persuasive you are. Really, a lot of persuasion is just 01:09:17.600 --> 01:09:23.360 not getting in the way by your own stumbling and getting in the way of the truth that you're trying 01:09:23.360 --> 01:09:31.840 to convey to others. When it comes to making these arguments, particularly about complex or 01:09:32.560 --> 01:09:39.360 central, very important subjects, you should always bear in mind that you may not be the person 01:09:40.160 --> 01:09:45.760 who actually makes the final part of the argument. You may even not make the majority 01:09:45.760 --> 01:09:51.600 of the argument. You may just put one brick in place. You may add one building block. 01:09:52.240 --> 01:09:58.320 You may be the one who lays part of the foundation. You're building part of the argument for that 01:09:58.320 --> 01:10:05.120 person. Don't necessarily feel that you have to be the one to make the entirety of the argument. 01:10:05.120 --> 01:10:09.600 Now, if it's a family member or a close friend, maybe you will be the person who makes 01:10:09.600 --> 01:10:15.120 the rest of the argument as well, but you may be discussing something with 01:10:15.120 --> 01:10:20.240 someone you met at a coffee shop and you may lay the foundation for someone else to come in and 01:10:20.240 --> 01:10:24.960 make the rest of that argument in the future. So don't think that necessarily just because you 01:10:24.960 --> 01:10:30.160 didn't get to whatever ultimate conclusion you think you should have been able to make that 01:10:30.160 --> 01:10:39.040 what you did was ineffective or useless. It probably was not. Human beings work by building up 01:10:39.120 --> 01:10:43.520 information over the course of a lifetime. So all of those interactions matter. 01:10:44.640 --> 01:10:51.280 It may be that your role is just to add that one brick. Don't necessarily feel that that's 01:10:51.280 --> 01:10:57.440 unimportant. Go ahead and find a wall if you're so inclined and start pulling random bricks out 01:10:57.440 --> 01:11:03.680 and see what happens. They all matter. Every little piece matters. I'm not actually telling you to go 01:11:03.680 --> 01:11:10.240 pick apart your neighbor's wall. Don't do that. Only your own wall. But there's another point 01:11:11.600 --> 01:11:16.640 in all of this that I feel it's important to make explicit. We've sort of implied it throughout the 01:11:16.640 --> 01:11:23.760 episode so far, but fundamentally, you will never persuade anyone of anything. 01:11:24.480 --> 01:11:28.080 Now, what I mean by that is something very specific. 01:11:30.320 --> 01:11:39.120 No one is persuaded by someone else. Because ultimately, how it works is the other person 01:11:39.120 --> 01:11:44.400 takes in the information, takes in the argument, data, whatever it is that you are providing, 01:11:45.360 --> 01:11:53.200 synthesizes that himself and he persuades himself. Now, for some men, it may be that your argument 01:11:53.200 --> 01:11:57.200 is the one that he takes, makes his own and persuades himself given your argument. 01:11:59.040 --> 01:12:04.160 Now, it's a subtle point. It seems like a minor point. It's almost on the level of Kant's point 01:12:04.160 --> 01:12:09.120 about the thing in itself versus the thing as we perceive it with the senses. But it's a salient 01:12:09.120 --> 01:12:18.320 point. What you are doing is providing that other person with the necessary means to construct 01:12:18.400 --> 01:12:23.760 what he needs to arrive at the conclusion. And that's why it's important to know your audience. 01:12:23.760 --> 01:12:27.760 That's why it's important to know the person with whom you're speaking because you'll know what he 01:12:27.760 --> 01:12:33.360 needs to construct that argument for himself, the one that will convince him, that will persuade him. 01:12:34.960 --> 01:12:41.200 Because ultimately, that is an internal matter to the person. Persuasion happens in the psyche, 01:12:41.200 --> 01:12:46.480 as it were, in the mind of the person being persuaded. It doesn't happen externally. 01:12:46.800 --> 01:12:52.960 Yes, the information is provided externally, the argumentation in some cases, the data, 01:12:53.520 --> 01:12:58.160 whatever it may be. But the ultimate persuasion is an internal matter. 01:12:59.680 --> 01:13:04.800 And that is again why knowing your audience, having that relationship, having that built-up 01:13:04.800 --> 01:13:11.040 trust truly matters, because then the person can take what you are giving him and construct the 01:13:11.040 --> 01:13:17.680 case himself. Because ultimately, he is the one doing that final construction in his own mind. 01:13:18.800 --> 01:13:25.840 So yes, you can be persuasive, but the ultimate act of persuasion lies in the mind of the person 01:13:25.840 --> 01:13:32.480 persuading, in this case, persuading himself. The last big point that I want to make is a 01:13:33.120 --> 01:13:39.920 corollary to that. Something happened in the last few years, really in the universe, 01:13:39.920 --> 01:13:47.280 I think we've all felt it, between COVID and the BLM riots. I think everyone has a sense that 01:13:47.280 --> 01:13:55.040 there's been a shift somehow metaphysically. And one of the things that happened, both in COVID and 01:13:55.040 --> 01:14:04.560 with BLM, is that the divisions within families, within communities, within friendships became 01:14:04.560 --> 01:14:11.440 much more apparent. Or in some cases, where there was previously no division, now there is division. 01:14:12.400 --> 01:14:19.200 The important thing that I want to highlight in the case of COVID and BLM, and all the associated 01:14:19.200 --> 01:14:25.920 screaming, is that when those divisions occurred in what had formally seemed to be cohesive units, 01:14:25.920 --> 01:14:33.520 in some cases those congregations were split by COVID policies, or COVID fears, or COVID messaging, 01:14:33.520 --> 01:14:41.920 whatever. We, on the right, the people who are right about these things, should never be the ones 01:14:41.920 --> 01:14:49.520 who are causing the division for the sake of accusation. What I mean by that is if you look 01:14:49.520 --> 01:14:56.800 back at BLM and COVID, it was the people on the left who by and large became utterly hysterical, 01:14:57.360 --> 01:15:03.440 and filled with condemnation and rage at anyone who wouldn't comply. It seemed like there 01:15:03.440 --> 01:15:09.040 was an entirely new emergent religion that appeared almost fully formed in the span of like 01:15:09.040 --> 01:15:16.960 six months. And in that time, the adherents to that new religion were vicious to anyone who 01:15:16.960 --> 01:15:25.200 would not bend the knee to it, literally bending the knee in the case of the BLM crap. Those were 01:15:25.200 --> 01:15:31.200 the people who were cutting us out of their lives. Those are the people who if we had to cut them out 01:15:31.200 --> 01:15:37.920 of our lives, it was usually self-defense. It was usually actual fear that these people who had 01:15:37.920 --> 01:15:43.360 once been friends or maybe even family had now become a real potential physical threat to you 01:15:43.360 --> 01:15:49.360 or your family. And so if you did cut them off, it was almost certainly defensive. And it wasn't 01:15:49.360 --> 01:15:54.720 simply, I hate this guy because he's wrong about something. And so the last point I want to make 01:15:54.720 --> 01:16:01.440 is that we on the right are not the ones who isolate people and disparage them for being wrong. 01:16:02.480 --> 01:16:06.720 If you have someone that you love, someone you're friends with, some of your neighbors with, 01:16:06.720 --> 01:16:11.360 and they're wrong about something, that's a matter of Christian love and concern. You want them to 01:16:11.360 --> 01:16:18.320 be right. You want to help move them in the right direction. But because it is rooted in love and not 01:16:18.400 --> 01:16:24.080 rooted in wanting to win an argument, you never get to the point that you say, 01:16:24.080 --> 01:16:29.280 I hate you because you don't agree with me. I want nothing to do with you because you believe 01:16:29.280 --> 01:16:35.200 the wrong thing about this. That's not us. That's not what we on the right do. That's not how truth 01:16:35.200 --> 01:16:41.200 behaves. Yeah, Corey and I can tell you don't believe a word we say, go read for yourself. 01:16:41.200 --> 01:16:45.040 And we know you're going to come to the same conclusions in part because we don't want you 01:16:45.040 --> 01:16:50.160 to be persuaded by podcasters or by people writing articles or people writing books. 01:16:50.160 --> 01:16:55.920 You shouldn't be persuaded by the guy who makes the loudest, angriest, whatever argument. You 01:16:55.920 --> 01:17:02.480 should be persuaded by truth. And so when we do these meta episodes, we want to get people engaging 01:17:02.480 --> 01:17:08.160 in metacognition about thinking about thinking about truth. What are you thinking about? How do 01:17:08.160 --> 01:17:14.720 you incorporate the ideas that you hear into what you believe? Because it's a two step process. 01:17:14.720 --> 01:17:19.520 You hear something, you think about it. If you believe it, it becomes much more intrinsic. 01:17:20.240 --> 01:17:26.640 What we saw with COVID and BLM is that they kind of skipped the truth part and just went straight 01:17:26.640 --> 01:17:32.480 to the belief part. And so a religion emerged with nothing behind it except for these fictional 01:17:32.480 --> 01:17:42.080 fantasy stories. And the religious fervor that was used to target us was horribly divisive. 01:17:42.080 --> 01:17:46.880 Again, it divided families, it divided communities and congregations in terrible ways. 01:17:47.600 --> 01:17:54.000 And we should never be the ones who are causing that. So if your friends with someone and you're 01:17:54.000 --> 01:18:01.920 further to the right than them, never go after them, certainly publicly, for not being as right as 01:18:01.920 --> 01:18:06.960 you are for being wrong about something that you're right about. Don't tone beliefs the way they 01:18:06.960 --> 01:18:14.240 say things. It's funny, people think that I'm a bomb thrower on Twitter, not to the same degree 01:18:14.240 --> 01:18:19.680 as Corey, but people think that we're both antagonistic. If you actually look at me replying 01:18:19.680 --> 01:18:26.880 to other people's accounts, I very, very rarely say anything negative in someone else's replies. 01:18:26.880 --> 01:18:32.960 Usually if I reply to someone and I disagree, it's A, it's a mutual. B, I'm very respectful. 01:18:32.960 --> 01:18:38.880 And C, I'm trying to make a narrow point. I'm trying to nudge things a little bit. But I never 01:18:38.880 --> 01:18:43.760 look at someone's timelines. I never look at their statements and say, I got to fix what 01:18:43.760 --> 01:18:48.880 they're saying. They got something wrong. But it's their timeline. It's their space to make 01:18:48.880 --> 01:18:54.160 their point about whatever they want to talk about. Sometimes I can contribute something 01:18:54.160 --> 01:18:57.840 helpful. Sometimes I can contribute. I want to nudge in a slightly different direction because 01:18:57.840 --> 01:19:01.040 the thing will be helpful to them in what they're actually trying to say. 01:19:02.720 --> 01:19:07.440 The important point that I want people to take home is that if you see someone making a mistake 01:19:07.440 --> 01:19:15.360 wherever and in conversation on social media, your first instinct shouldn't be, I got to fix this. 01:19:15.920 --> 01:19:20.480 You've said that all along. Your friends, your family especially are not people you should be 01:19:20.480 --> 01:19:26.800 fixing. They're people you should be loving. And loving them involves helping them at some point 01:19:26.800 --> 01:19:31.280 get some of these things right. But if there's someone who's friends with you or friends with 01:19:31.280 --> 01:19:38.160 your sphere of friends, particularly if you're the undesirables, as Corey and I are, social 01:19:38.160 --> 01:19:42.640 media is very interesting because anyone can interact with anyone. You can reply to Elon Musk 01:19:42.640 --> 01:19:49.040 and he may see it. That's incredible. That's completely insane. On Gab, it's a smaller space. 01:19:49.040 --> 01:19:55.040 You can respond and or he's likely to see it because it's a much more tight-knit community, 01:19:55.040 --> 01:20:00.880 which is one of the awesome things about it. It's a community. It's a town square. It's not 01:20:00.880 --> 01:20:05.600 like a global billboard. That's a different culture and that's a good thing. The internet needs 01:20:05.600 --> 01:20:12.320 multiple different cultures. On the internet, if someone says something and you disagree with it, 01:20:12.960 --> 01:20:18.160 it's okay to let it go. You don't constantly have to fix everything around you. And so 01:20:19.200 --> 01:20:24.400 because other people can interact completely at random on Twitter especially because it's so large, 01:20:25.520 --> 01:20:29.280 it's very conspicuous to me especially in the last few months just kind of looking at 01:20:29.280 --> 01:20:36.080 own interactions. Who is willing to still talk to me because there's been such a concerted slander 01:20:36.080 --> 01:20:42.000 campaign against Corey and myself and against Stone Choir that a lot of people just refuse to 01:20:42.000 --> 01:20:47.360 acknowledge we exist anymore. Even some who will speak in private won't speak to us in public because 01:20:47.360 --> 01:20:52.400 they're downsized to them. And I respect that. I don't go after these people in public. I'm not 01:20:52.400 --> 01:20:56.880 naming them here. I'm not trying to shame anyone by mentioning this. I'm simply highlighting that 01:20:57.840 --> 01:21:03.120 there are people who are still willing to follow me, who are willing to respond, reply to me and 01:21:03.120 --> 01:21:09.120 engage with me in public. I respect the fact that they're taking a chance to even be seen 01:21:09.120 --> 01:21:15.840 interacting favorably. There are multiple parables in scripture about engaging with the 01:21:15.840 --> 01:21:22.000 public. You have lepers. You have these text collectors. You have undesirables of the lowest 01:21:22.000 --> 01:21:30.240 order and the manner in which they were treated in those days. Today, being on the dissident 01:21:30.240 --> 01:21:35.760 right is basically being part of a leper colony. And it's artificial. I mean, it's not leprosy. 01:21:35.760 --> 01:21:41.440 Leprosy was a highly contagious, hideous disease. It was incurable. Leprosy colonies existed because 01:21:41.440 --> 01:21:46.480 those people had to be set apart not only because ceremonially they were unclean, but because they 01:21:46.480 --> 01:21:53.680 had a horrific, contagious disease. There's no contagion among the dissident right. There's 01:21:53.680 --> 01:21:57.680 only people who are telling the truth, and then other people are afraid to go near them because 01:21:57.680 --> 01:22:03.360 of it. So I highlight this because if there's someone who's willing to actually still talk to me 01:22:03.360 --> 01:22:09.440 publicly, I respect that and I respect them for it. And part of my respect for that is that I'm 01:22:09.440 --> 01:22:14.160 going to engage with them as little as possible because I don't want to bring heat on them by 01:22:14.160 --> 01:22:19.360 speaking to them because there are people who hate me so much that they're sitting in the telegram 01:22:19.360 --> 01:22:24.880 public chat for Stone Choir trying to dox pastors and laymen. If anyone they can find, 01:22:24.880 --> 01:22:31.200 they want to dox them and go to their congregations and try to get them destroyed because they hate 01:22:31.200 --> 01:22:36.480 the fact that we are speaking so much. Why do they hate it? They hate it because we are the men 01:22:36.480 --> 01:22:41.680 who are actually able to talk to men like Adam and men like Andrew from different perspectives 01:22:41.680 --> 01:22:47.440 and help them move in a direction that's closer to the truth. And it's a truth that's completely 01:22:47.440 --> 01:22:52.640 at odds with the world. And there's servants of the world that passionately hate that and will 01:22:52.640 --> 01:22:58.720 spare no expense of, and they'll take any amount of time to try to harm us and anyone who comes near 01:22:58.720 --> 01:23:03.760 us. So if someone is not willing to come near me publicly, I notice, I absolutely notice, 01:23:03.760 --> 01:23:08.240 I'm really good at pattern recognition. If you used to talk to me and you don't anymore, 01:23:08.240 --> 01:23:13.360 I can tell. And I don't care. If there's anything to forgive, I certainly forgive it. 01:23:13.360 --> 01:23:17.600 But it is conspicuous when someone's willing to talk to me. I mention this because if there's 01:23:17.600 --> 01:23:22.400 someone who's still willing to engage with the men who are treated as lepers and as tax collectors, 01:23:23.120 --> 01:23:28.160 don't make them regret it. Don't make their lives harder because they're one of the few people who 01:23:28.160 --> 01:23:33.120 are willing to actually treat us like Christian brothers and like human beings. 01:23:34.720 --> 01:23:40.320 If you hold views that are not popular, if you hold views that are contrary to the world's religion, 01:23:40.880 --> 01:23:47.360 and someone is willing to engage with you, make sure they don't regret it. That's one of the chief 01:23:47.360 --> 01:23:51.920 messages of this episode. Make sure that when you're trying to persuade someone, sometimes it's 01:23:51.920 --> 01:23:56.800 just as simple as, I'm not going to be a jerk. I'm not going to make your life any harder than it 01:23:56.800 --> 01:24:03.520 already is because you have your own thing to focus on. That's important too, to not be the guy 01:24:03.520 --> 01:24:09.440 that someone regrets that they were friends with because that's a way to lose friends and negatively 01:24:09.440 --> 01:24:15.280 influence people. I mentioned the Andrew example earlier on. If I had gone after him and bet a 01:24:15.280 --> 01:24:20.480 complete jerk, he would have very rightfully ignored some of the things I said and maybe he 01:24:20.480 --> 01:24:25.440 wouldn't think what he does now. Even maybe if only for the sake that he didn't want to be associated 01:24:25.440 --> 01:24:30.880 with someone who would be as much of a jerk as me. Sometimes you just have to shut your mouth and 01:24:30.880 --> 01:24:37.440 let someone be wrong on the internet. It's not the end of the world. It may be that by being silent, 01:24:37.440 --> 01:24:41.840 in the future, you're buying a chance to make the persuasive case that you didn't have 01:24:41.840 --> 01:24:48.320 the opportunity to make in that moment. Patience, grace are the key elements of persuasion. 01:24:48.320 --> 01:24:52.640 Sometimes just saying nothing is the most powerful thing you could say. In some part of that is just 01:24:52.640 --> 01:24:57.680 still being a friend, like Corey's father, who was friends for a man because they were friends 01:24:57.680 --> 01:25:02.320 and the fact that the man wouldn't receive the gospel didn't dissuade him from being his friend 01:25:02.320 --> 01:25:07.760 or for continuing to talk about it. Being friends with people who have different views 01:25:07.760 --> 01:25:13.360 is a testimony to the confidence that you have in your own beliefs. Don't let your beliefs become 01:25:13.360 --> 01:25:19.840 an excuse for you to be brittle. Truth never causes brittleness. It causes strength. Wherever 01:25:19.840 --> 01:25:25.760 you find strength, especially today when there are men with convictions, people who don't know 01:25:25.760 --> 01:25:31.280 anything will see strength being upheld in the face of adversity and think maybe there's some 01:25:31.280 --> 01:25:36.720 truth behind that because there has to be some metaphysical explanation for how someone could 01:25:36.720 --> 01:25:42.320 withstand the hatred of the world. Maybe he's just completely crazy or maybe he's on to something. 01:25:43.120 --> 01:25:47.600 Maybe all you do as a personal witness to the world is acting in his example who says, 01:25:47.680 --> 01:25:52.240 I'm still here. You can't chase me away. If that's the only persuasion you can do, 01:25:52.240 --> 01:25:56.480 that's a powerful message because there's so few men today who are willing to do that. 01:25:59.280 --> 01:26:04.880 There's a lot to think about here. It's a meta discussion around how we interact with each other 01:26:04.880 --> 01:26:11.760 and how we think about ourselves. Be patient. It's okay to be quiet. Measure twice, cut once. 01:26:12.480 --> 01:26:18.240 Think before you go after someone, anywhere. Even think before you tell them the things 01:26:18.240 --> 01:26:22.800 that we talk about on Stunkwire or wherever else you're getting your interesting information. 01:26:23.520 --> 01:26:28.880 Don't be hasty to try to upend someone else's life because even if it's beneficial, 01:26:28.880 --> 01:26:34.560 it may well upend things. Have some empathy for that and have some grace for that person 01:26:34.560 --> 01:26:39.440 to try to go easy and to make it easy for them. If they want nothing to do with it, 01:26:39.440 --> 01:26:43.600 you should still love them because whatever relationship you had beforehand should still 01:26:43.600 --> 01:26:49.120 exist. If they respond the way people did with COVID and BLM by writing you off, 01:26:50.000 --> 01:26:56.240 well, that was part of Jesus' prophecies of end times, that fathers would be adversaries against 01:26:56.240 --> 01:27:00.880 daughters, mothers and sons, daughter-in-laws and father-in-laws and butchering the relationships. 01:27:00.880 --> 01:27:06.080 Like Jesus basically covered everything. Families will be torn down. Churches will be torn down 01:27:06.160 --> 01:27:11.520 internally, not just externally. Whether or not this is an end time moment, 01:27:11.520 --> 01:27:15.200 the fact that these things are happening are always a reminder to us to believe 01:27:15.200 --> 01:27:20.000 God's promises because they will come true one day. When we see them happening, 01:27:20.000 --> 01:27:24.000 it's not a cause for panic or worry. It's just a cause for making sure that we focus 01:27:24.000 --> 01:27:27.920 on the things that matter most. Chief of all, that's God and His promises, 01:27:27.920 --> 01:27:41.760 and that includes the truth of all things in creation.